I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
