hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
