Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
