I hate all girls vehemently.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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