i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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