Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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