at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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