He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
