I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
