the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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