goodnight i made you a song goodbye
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
