My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
