the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize