so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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