wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
