We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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