My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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