In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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