I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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