it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
