No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
