i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
