I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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