She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
wow bdsm is so cute
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
