he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
