ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
