I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
