I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize