I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
