Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
