I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
