She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
