I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
