I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
