Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
