thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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