Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You left your phone here
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