The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
tell me about the fingering
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