I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
