Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
