Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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