All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
