Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
operation have a gay friend backfired
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
