I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
