This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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