i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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