people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
