we have officially lost it.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
