Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
