Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
