Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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